I went to nursery before I started school. I don't really remember it but it was fine. I moved up to my first school. This was when the bullying began. I can't remember who it was for the first couple of years. Being so young, I didn't think too much of it. Maybe that was normal at school? It was never normal but it was something that I’d so get used to. In year 3 this one bully came along. He had a mental disability. He didn't know what he was doing but he bullied me from year 3 until year 5/6. He would hit me, kick me, draw on me, through things at me and once he poured juice over me and made me all sticky. I knew he didn't understand, but the school did understand and they didn't do anything to help. I told my parents everything but I love them and if I was sad, they'd be the first to know. They thought the school were doing something and tried for years to get them to sort it out. They'd get somewhere, the bullying would stop, parents would step out and leave me to go to school knowing the bullying had stopped and then it would start again. In the end, my parents threatened the school with the police. The school took action and set up sessions for me and the bully to 'bond'. That's all well and good, but he'd ruined the first part of my school life? I had to live with that.
In middle school - year 4 until year 6 (at the same time as the other bullying) I was tormented in the school playground by two boys who thought it was funny to chase me and scare me and hurt me. They'd punch at me and kick me. And during this another girl felt it was ok to be nasty to me and make fun of me.
Year 7 I met another girl. All the other bullying had stopped apart from the girl I met that was nasty. The nasty girl and the new girl teamed up and began bullying me together. After year 7 I moved to another school and the new girl followed me. I didn't see the nasty one after that. The new girl turned nasty and began punching, kicking, swearing, name calling etc. Then one day she pushed me in front of a car. The car swerved so I was fine but it panicked me. I rushed home and told my mum. She called the girls mum and the girl denied it all and the mum believed her. After that the physical bullying stopped but the mental/psychological bullying got worse and worse. It was done in such a way that I couldn't prove it. Mum told me to keep note of everything she said to me so I did. I moved up to my high school with the girl too and the bullying was still going on and I was still recording it. After a year in the high school, we went to the year head with everything I had recorded and we tried to get help. They didn't do anything for me. Not even threatening would help. They weren't going to do anything.
Year 9 she carried on and I let it happen because I had no confidence. I cried all the time and felt worthless. Half way through year 10, the girl walked over to me and punched me. That was it! I punched her back. She didn't like that so she grabbed my hair and pulled at it and wouldn't let go. I was sooooo angry and did the same to her but harder and pulled the hair out. She never touched me again after that.
When I started year 10, I became ill and didn't spend much time in school because I was in hospital or just too ill to go to school. I didn't get bullied this year and slowly built up confidence. I stood up for others who were being bullied and didn't take any rubbish from anyone. I was so happy other than being ill of course.
That year went past and I went into year 11. I was still ill but my mind turned to other thing. I was sexually assaulted at school by two boys. I don't want to go into too much detail but it wasn't very nice, as you would imagine. I got depressed and lost that confidence again but this time it was even lower than before. The police got involved, but nothing happened about it. The boys told everyone in the school. This meant everyone made fun of me for being 'frigid' and 'pathetic'. I can't explain how horrible that was. Bullying is awful and destroys lives and so does this. Bullying and assaults in any form should not happen.
So called friends turned against me and began bullying me too. I was alone. Everyone was against me but my family. The police informed the school of the assault but again the school didn't care and didn't take action. This made school even more distressing. The school tried to force me to go to lessons with one of the boys as we were in the same class. I did not want to go and sit in a room with him after what happened and began to bunk my lessons. This caused me to fail that subject in my GCSEs. So, don't bunk! I failed 4 subjects out of 11. I could have done so much better but it was just so hard with everything that had happened in my school life.
I've lost so many "friends" and had a hard time trusting people. Those bullies were my friends before they began bullying me. And the two guys? I liked one of them as a friend and the other one I knew wasn't a nice person but I didn't except him to scoop so low.
I went on a date with a guy when I was 16. It was fireworks night and we were spending it together out on the quay. He tried to force his hands into my underwear. He was stronger than me, so he managed it. I know it's not bullying, but it's wrong and disgusting. You shouldn't stand for bullying OR being forced into anything you don't want to do.
I'm almost 17 now and in year 12. I had to leave school and not do sixth form because the two boys that assaulted me and all their friends are at the school sixth form. No place for me. I've moved on to college now though and I really enjoy it but due to my illness, it's hard to go and I've not been in months. I can barely remember my school life. I've not gone in too much detail because my memory blocked it all out except from the assault and being pushed in front of a car. The brain can be amazing at times. I want to remember my school life but it's still too soon. I'll remember in time though.
Bullying is one of the nastiest things that can happen. It kills your confidence and ruins lives. If you're being bullied, you must tell people you trust. Don't stand for it - get help. Don't stand alone. It won't last forever either. I know I've had this all of my school life, but I’m free now. I don't have anyone bullying me because the bullies have moved on and I’ve moved on. They won't be in your life forever. You're young now, but when you're 30 with your family, you'll be free too. Hopefully before 30 but defo by 30! It will always haunt you but you learn to accept that it wasn't a nice time of your life.
Page last updated: 30 May, 2012