5th grade I was young but I didn’t care I would be called terrible names but I didn’t listen to them I didn’t care. When I got into 6th grade I moved to a new school with new people the words got worse and I started to actually listen to them. It hurt. 7th grade came by and I lost so many friends and I started kind of scratching myself because the harsh words had gotten worse and went to Facebook messages. In 8th I thought it was going to get better and I was going to be ok but then it all hit me on the last day when people signed my yearbook saying I was ugly fat worthless a whore... That was the year I tattooed myself. Then high school came, oh god everything was so much worse. I got messages on Facebook being called a nasty ass twat, a fat ugly whore and they even said if I killed myself no one would care.
One of the classes I have is with a girl who absolutely hates me because her sister, she told the whole class I was pregnant and that I was raped at homecoming. I didn’t even go to homecoming because of her. One day she had even gotten in my face trying to punch me, the counsellor didn’t do anything, I’m still in that class and so is she. If I walk past her she calls me a cow and says she hopes I die. This year since being bullied so bad I have done so many stupid things I have tried pot and used to smoke it on a regular basis, I smoke cigarettes, I drink alcohol. I even pierced my own lip, my mom was so disappointed.
I also started to cut myself and I’ve tried killing myself, but I’ve been talked out of it because my friend knows me and he knows if I don’t reply back I’m trying. I also was pressured into having sex with my ex-boyfriend, I thought I loved him and he loved me but all he wanted was sex. A few days after he pressured me, he broke up with me because there was another rumour about me going around school... That I was cheating on him and I sleep with every guy I meet. First he believed me and then he couldn’t take everyone saying that to him so he dumped me. I cried for a few days because I lost my virginity to him.
Then the bullying with that girl got worse, she started trying to trip me she was starting stuff with seniors and juniors. When my mom found out she said she would call the school and have my stepdad and dad go to the school because she saw the cuts on my arm and the posts on my wall from my friend it was obvious I didn’t want to live anymore and I still don’t, I still deal with her and her friends verbally abusing me. I just want it to all stop and to be ok instead of growing up like this and I definitely don’t want my future kids to grow up like this. No one should feel that the only way out is to kill yourself.
Page last updated: 14 April, 2013